Daniel Mai

The Best People (and How I Keep in Touch With Them)

The best people in my life bring me joy; they are able to make me laugh to the point that I can’t breathe anymore.

My friends are amazing people. We can talk about practically anything together. Most of the time it’s the funny stuff, but the serious stuff isn’t forbidden from our conversations; it’s just not as laughable.

They are the reason why I’m always happy to have a break away from school; we can all get together, sit in a room for hours and talk, laugh, and go crazy together. It’s really fun. All we need is ourselves and some stories to share. We don’t need to do anything that breaks the bank; we only need each other to have a blast.

This is what I did. It’s 1:07 AM right now and I just came home from having a blast with you all, my friends. My life would be so dull without you guys, so thanks. I’m really grateful that I’m allowed in your lives.

What I love about our conversations is how it builds up as time passes. We talk about something new, and connect it with something we’ve talked about before. We connect the dots and reminisce about past events, and we essentially create a huge collection of mutual knowledge that, when we mention a sound bite, brings back memories and, usually, joy. It probably doesn’t make sense to someone who isn’t in-the-know, but it doesn’t have to be. Memories are contextual.

This is how I usually converse with people. I mention something in the past that we’ve talked about. I bring back the past a lot.

After writing that, it sounds as if I like to dwell in the past. I like to remember the good ones, and less so of the bad ones.

My relationships with people are all based on memories, anyway. If I forget the memories, I essentially don’t know anything. I wouldn’t know anyone. So if I bring back some past memory when I’m talking to you, it’s because I want to rekindle some thought between us. It’s to reexamine my relationship with you—to determine what I know about you.

I guess it’s kind of like Rogerian argument. I repeat what’s been said as a way to tell myself and my friends that yes, I am listening. Yes, I care.

When I want to experience some certain emotion, I’ll think about some memory that matches the emotion. Sort of like some dose of a drug. Nothing physically dangerous enters my body; it’s completely mental.

It’s now 2 AM. I guess it’s time to sleep, huh?